Grief Comes In All Forms - death or poor choices

The shortest verse in the Bible is John 11:35, "Jesus wept." What should we expect when we grieve. Read on to learn about some key ideas.


Important Ideas to Remember

1. Grief has "stages", but that does not mean they are sequential
2. Timelines and expectations all vary with different people who are grieving
3. The best way to get through grief is to be intentional about acknowledging what happened.

Helpful Tips

1. Set aside certain amounts of time to grieve when you feel like it is too overwhelming for you
2. Journaling can be a good way to process your thoughts on your own
3. Keep talking about your difficulties or symptoms even if you think people don't want to hear it anymore

Commentary

Many times in my counseling office people tell me that they are afraid to grieve. "It is just too hard....I'll never stop crying....no one else wants to hear it anymore". Each of these comments is a sign that a person still has more work to do to feel better.

Grief can be understood in a lot of different ways, but what I tell people is that the stages they go through (shock, denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance) may be repeated often. Many times people expect to never be angry about something again, so they feel like something is wrong with them when anger returns.

Death is not the only thing people grieve over. When it comes to the people that seek help as part of Total Integrity (http://www.totalintegrity.org/), they may be grieving the loss of expectations, loss of a job, loss of trust, etc... Everyone is different and each situation is different.

The tips I listed above reflect the key ideas to focus on when you are hurting. Many people may not understand or empathize with whatever you are going through. That is why it is important to be focused on self care and survival. One day at a time will go a long way when it comes to waiting for needed changes.